while i understand and respect what the internet has given us, it saddens me as well. i find so much is lost on this generation.

first it was the tv shows to entertain them when they were bored. then it was the internet and the hours you find yourself lost in going from site to site when all you really needed was some info about china. then came email…hours spent obsessively checking, responding and checking and so on. IM entered and well you could have absolute immediate access to your buds and so that became the new obsession. not long after came the social networks, such as myspace and facebook, and now we have walls to write on, messages to check, groups to join, gifts to send, polls to take and share, and friends to accumulate, some of whom you actually do not know from adam.

i know i sound like i have been asleep for 25 years, and i fully expect to be crucified, but no one writes hand written thank you notes or letters anymore; children spend hours on the internet instead of playing board games and learning to negotiate face-to-face, etc. if they are bored they need to BE entertained so they go to the computer or start texting.

it seems no one knows how to be quiet or play outside or read or just be alone any more. instant and immediate access and gratification.

i have every letter my father wrote to me from the time i first went away to camp until the last simple post card he could manage to compose before he died. i also have letters from other family members, godparents, and friends…i can hold these in my hand, re-read them any time i want or need to, and laugh or cry as i recall that time and that relationship. i even have some letters my grandparents wrote to each other back in the 20’s when they were young parents and starting out is the world.

emails, im, and social networking sites cannot give you that. nor can they give you a peek into the lives of those who came before you. everything is so easily erased…gone and forgotten. ihave saved the letters my children’s father wrote to me during our “courtship” and marriage. they are for our children, so they may have a peek into who we were as we got to know each other and how we grew and changed over the years of working and raising a family.

i know you and most of your readers are big internet folk and probably find me rather so yesterday…yet i am a lot like you: in my mid 40’s, college educated, raising children and working. i read a lot, travel, visit museums and attend concerts. i spend time with my family talking, helping out and just being.

i have a love/hate relationship with the internet and modern technology. i work to keep it from taking my children away from the family – have you read the shelter of each other…rebuilding our families? – yet i gave my two oldest each a laptop when they entered high school. my youngest, 5th grade, has just rec’d an email address. she has webkins and access to other tween sites. the older two have cell phones, but not texting, and the youngest will get one in middle school.

of course the internet has brought me many good things…access to you and other very talented writers – the whole blog thing…which at first i found silly and rather self involved, but now i’m hooked! the internet provides us with very quick access to important info…fast plane tix and hotel reservations, easy way to check in with my sister when she is overseas and her cell phone is not working. the list goes on…on both sides of the coin.

it is a blessing and a curse in my mind and i really struggle with it. i have lived for summer each year since my eldest graduated fifth grade and went off to camp…not to get rid of her, but to savor that time when we write each other letters , and so it has been every summer since when one after the other has had their time at camp. my children wrote/write weekly and i near daily to keep in touch, let them know what everyone else is up to, and also so they get letter each day at mail call. then when it is over, i have those tangible reminders to pull out every so often and touch and remember. who knows, maybe they keep them as well and in time will experience what i have through the years.

It will be interesting to see how they relate in another two weeks, for sure. Definitely a big part of their relationship at this point is anticipating that.

One thing that struck me when Caroline and Kinsey were skyping today is that they were indeed playing together, but not actually communicating the whole time. After a few minutes of silence, I would overhear Kinsey asking Caroline, “Are you there?” And then they would talk about what they were doing online on different girl-game websites.

What was also funny was Kinsey’s observation about the skype chat history showing how often the girls tried to communicate with each other when one wasn’t available. “Look, mom! Caroline tried to skype me six times yesterday while I was still asleep!” This changes the rules of Phone Tag, I’m guessing…

As for myself, my life is most definitely enriched by my on-line friends.

I love that you love Henry Jenkins too – and at SXSW he spoke of the trend thats happening called “The Dumbest Generation.” That adults not clear on what’s happening on social networks, are in a “moral panic.” That’s when you stop asking questions and assume you already know the answers.

Jenkins encourages us to have different starting point. Namely to start with the premise that people (and kids) aren’t idiots.

Your daughter knows that Kinsey is a friend and that they’re playing together. It is real to her because, well, they are playing together. And they are friends.

When they meet in person they will already have established the foundation of that friendship. It’s cool that they will meet – because that to me is when online relationships become much more solidified and important. In-person matters a lot…and it makes the relationship far more lasting. But online is also a relationship.

That’s what I love about working with Weeworld – it’s a giant social anthropology experiment. It’s a lot like the real world, but since it’s online it’s an accelerated social petri dish. These things are not going away. We all need to figure them out – kids and parents.

Have fun in California with the girls!