A few weeks ago, I had some time to kill at Boston’s Logan Airport before a flight to Denver, and eventually to Santa Barbara. I’ve taken the same, lonely trip a dozen times or so, and it’s always a tiring day that reminds me again how profoundly disappointed I am that the seven-league boots I coveted as a kid still aren’t commercially produced. They would, after all, make travel so much more palatable. And quicker.
Today was a quiet Tuesday in the terminal, and nothing there (a sundries shop, a TBCY staffed by a yawning clerk) seemed to hold much in the way of a half-hour’s distraction. But as I cased the concourse, the guy who operated the shoeshine stand caught my eye and called out to me, “Hey, Pretty Lady!” he said. “Look at those boots! You need shoe shine!”
If you’ve been in a major municipal airport, in a larger, older US city like Boston, New York, Chicago or DC, you know what I’m talking about: those ancient wooden platforms with two or three seats in a row and a series of brass foot rests beneath, lined up like gold teeth in an old man’s jaw. The chairs themselves are usually oak and sometimes carved, with ancient gummy crud collected in the relief.
Today, the structures seem quaintly and oddly out of place, the stands solidly unchanging even as the terminals around them unanimously get a fresh update with modern glass, tile and better lighting. Many of the stands were likely set in place when the terminals were first built in the 1920s, when commercial air travel started to become viable, anchoring them in an era when most travelers wore the kinds of shoes that regularly needed a good, stiff shining.
Only I wasn’t necessarily thinking about that as the shoeshine man called out to me. Instead, I looked down at my boots, which weren’t of the seven-league variety but plain brown leather and—he was right—quite scuffed. I thought the scrapes and bruises emphasized the mannishness of the flat soles and battered, rounded toes. I’d never gotten a shoe shine before—had never considered it, really—but impulsively I marched my scuffed boots over to him for some shoeshine magic.
The shoeshine guy was 50-ish, wiry and dark. His name was George, he said, which he pronounced with a thick accent I couldn’t quite place. He wiped his stained hands on a rag tucked at his waist, shook my hand firmly, and graciously swept his hand aside with a bit of an exaggerated flourish, inviting me to climb up the three steps to the platform. My perch was a wooden box about three feet in the air, with two wooden chairs planted at the top, their backs to the wall, overlooking the concourse.
George was a gentleman, and charming, and so the whole business of a shoeshine seemed very decorous and old-fashioned. It was also a minor extravagance. Though not expensive, it was a kind of pampering. Since I was feeling a little bit sorry for myself, I decided I deserved it.
“Here you go, Lady,” George said, gesturing up the stairs. The first step up to the platform was surprisingly broad and steep, and that kind of threw me: I suddenly felt like a kindergartener charging up the school bus steps on the first day, faking bravado but ultimately unsure of where to place her foot to cleanly clear the next riser. I was certain I would trip, but I didn’t. Instead I took the stairs awkwardly, placing each step a little too deliberately, like a drunk trying to fake sober.
“Now sit,” he said, motioning for me to take a chair and place one foot on each brass footrest, shaped to look like the sole of a shoe, but smaller, like the footprint a child might leave in wet cement. He eyeballed the leather of my boots and turned to choose a matching polish, whistling.
When I placed one foot onto a tiny foot rest I again felt a sudden wave of unease: The Left and Right foot rests were just far enough from each other to force my legs apart at an unnatural, open air straddle. It wouldn’t be a way I’d ever sit, straight-backed and open-legged, and especially not mounted as I was on a platform. It harkened a visit to the gynecologist; I half expected George to invite me to relax, lean back and let my knees drop open. Then I noticed the swinging door to my right as it popped open: Why hadn’t I noticed that the platform was set next to the men’s restroom?
George brushed on the boot polish. He worked quickly and efficiently, his hands fluttering over the leather, his tea-colored arms surprisingly sinewy. Then he set to the polishing part, and I felt the years of vigor in those arms. The first stiff sweep with his bristled brush knocked my foot clean off its rest. “Oh… sorry!” I sputtered, repositioning my boot back on the miniature footprint. I spent the rest of the time finding the correct little-used muscles in my thighs and calves to counter his surprisingly strong side-swipes. I gripped the tacky sides of the ancient oak seat, and tried to brace myself against George’s strokes.
All the while, George was unperturbed. If he sensed that he had a virgin on the platform, he was too kind to mention it. He chatted as he worked, about his wife, and kids, and grandkids, about his life in Ecuador that he had left 10 years ago to come to Boston.
“The beautiful place, Ecuador,” he said. “You know it? You been…?
“Oh…” he said, sounding disappointed, when I said I hadn’t. He drew a map in the air of where it sat in South America, next to Columbia and Peru. “But you must go, Lady. You must.”
If you were a guy exiting the men’s restroom on my right, I thought, you wouldn’t notice anything unusual—just a woman getting a shoeshine from a talkative shoeshine guy.
Or now, looking back, perhaps you would.
Because as I sat there, hovering with my groin head-level with George, feeling some cramping begin to creep into my shin from the tension of pressing the souls of my shoes onto the tiny foot rest, and already worrying about the dismount, it occurred to me that I must have walked by hundreds of these shoeshine stands, in at least a dozen or so airports around the world, with customers at one, two, or sometimes three of the seats, reading newspapers, or talking on their cell phones, or whatever.
And yet I had never, ever seen a woman getting a shoeshine here, like this. Now, I get why.
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Ann,
You have uncovered one of men’s guilty secrets. There is a decadent pleasure in the airport shoe shine.
I think it’s a blend of indulgence and pampering mixed with the lingering memory of the men we used to see getting a shine…and how we probably thought they looked important in their nice suits and fancy shoes.
If I am flying and know I have a decent layover, I’ll purposely wear shoes that can be shined. Just for the fun of it.
It puts a little pep in my walk for some reason. But that alone is worth the $10.
Drew
Ann,
You have uncovered one of men’s guilty secrets. There is a decadent pleasure in the airport shoe shine.
I think it’s a blend of indulgence and pampering mixed with the lingering memory of the men we used to see getting a shine…and how we probably thought they looked important in their nice suits and fancy shoes.
If I am flying and know I have a decent layover, I’ll purposely wear shoes that can be shined. Just for the fun of it.
It puts a little pep in my walk for some reason. But that alone is worth the $10.
Drew
Ha! I wear Blundstones on planes for the exact same reason- they’re comfortable, easy to kick off and work for a variety of purposes once I get where I’m going.
And I never know whether to get them shined or not: they’re the kind of boots that sort of look better a bit scuffed, but then I’m always glad when I do get them polished.
Ha! I wear Blundstones on planes for the exact same reason- they’re comfortable, easy to kick off and work for a variety of purposes once I get where I’m going.
And I never know whether to get them shined or not: they’re the kind of boots that sort of look better a bit scuffed, but then I’m always glad when I do get them polished.
Warren & Drew – Thanks for stopping by. It;s funny how many guys dig a good stiff shoeshine, huh!? Who knew?
Toad — Exactly! Love my Blunnies. (Mannish or not.)
Warren & Drew – Thanks for stopping by. It;s funny how many guys dig a good stiff shoeshine, huh!? Who knew?
Toad — Exactly! Love my Blunnies. (Mannish or not.)
OK, so to your point about shoe shine customers usually being male…on rare occasions, I’ve noticed female shoe shiners. There was/is one in the State Street building, where I used to park for $500 a month (thankfully I switched jobs) and I think there was a stand at CES (might have been a different conference) where the “call to action” was more overt. In the case of the latter – to your point about positioning – this is exactly what was being marketed, reversing the genders. However, I’m flying out again today and badly need a shine – so I’m going to conveniently forget that I ever read this post!
OK, so to your point about shoe shine customers usually being male…on rare occasions, I’ve noticed female shoe shiners. There was/is one in the State Street building, where I used to park for $500 a month (thankfully I switched jobs) and I think there was a stand at CES (might have been a different conference) where the “call to action” was more overt. In the case of the latter – to your point about positioning – this is exactly what was being marketed, reversing the genders. However, I’m flying out again today and badly need a shine – so I’m going to conveniently forget that I ever read this post!
I loved this story! I have always noticed the ‘shoeshine man’ in almost every airport I’ve ever been in. I’ve always wondered how they always seem to have business, partly because it seems so old fashioned. But to your point, I haven’t noticed up until your blog posting, that there are never any women! I think I might give it a whirl next time I’m at Logan…just for the experience as well
I loved this story! I have always noticed the ‘shoeshine man’ in almost every airport I’ve ever been in. I’ve always wondered how they always seem to have business, partly because it seems so old fashioned. But to your point, I haven’t noticed up until your blog posting, that there are never any women! I think I might give it a whirl next time I’m at Logan…just for the experience as well
Ann,
A great twist; how it feels to suddenly enter the world of another gender. Never would have thought about a woman’s reaction to a shoe shine…this is priceless. I’d probably feel just about as awkward getting a manicure or something…it’s tough enough buying lingerie for my wife!
Ann,
A great twist; how it feels to suddenly enter the world of another gender. Never would have thought about a woman’s reaction to a shoe shine…this is priceless. I’d probably feel just about as awkward getting a manicure or something…it’s tough enough buying lingerie for my wife!
Ann,
Others have said it above, but I’m not averse to piling on here: you really have a talent for writing. You set the scene with some very powerful descriptions and made me feel like I was back at the airport.
I’ve always enjoyed getting my shoes shined – I often find that I’m lulled into a state of relaxation by the rhythmic rubbing & polishing that’s like a foot massage. I too find the shoe stands a little awkward, and I stand about 6′ tall – I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you, as petite as you are.
I think your anecdote here leads to a larger issue: how frequently we simply take certain things for granted and miss the perspective of another. Thanks for taking a questionable experience and translating it into something half-humorous, half-tragic and wholly understandable.
Ann,
Others have said it above, but I’m not averse to piling on here: you really have a talent for writing. You set the scene with some very powerful descriptions and made me feel like I was back at the airport.
I’ve always enjoyed getting my shoes shined – I often find that I’m lulled into a state of relaxation by the rhythmic rubbing & polishing that’s like a foot massage. I too find the shoe stands a little awkward, and I stand about 6′ tall – I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you, as petite as you are.
I think your anecdote here leads to a larger issue: how frequently we simply take certain things for granted and miss the perspective of another. Thanks for taking a questionable experience and translating it into something half-humorous, half-tragic and wholly understandable.
Wonderful writing and impressive observational skills.
I never got my shoe shined, (Except in a hotel when somebody picks up my shoes.) I would love to but it’s just not in my genes. I feel very uncomfortable when I pay somebody to do a task that I don’t want to do. It was such a big deal for me to hire weekly maid service. The first few months, I cleaned and organized the whole house just to make sure that the maid doesn’t have too much to do. My wife was just shaking her hand, not understanding that I feel slightly embarassed to ask people to do these job. I cut down on my pre-cleaning considerably but I still scan the house and fix things before she shows up. Same goes for gardening work, pedicures and, yes, shoe shines. I think I would feel better if I’d pay for a shoe shine $20. But, for that money, I do it myself.
Wonderful writing and impressive observational skills.
I never got my shoe shined, (Except in a hotel when somebody picks up my shoes.) I would love to but it’s just not in my genes. I feel very uncomfortable when I pay somebody to do a task that I don’t want to do. It was such a big deal for me to hire weekly maid service. The first few months, I cleaned and organized the whole house just to make sure that the maid doesn’t have too much to do. My wife was just shaking her hand, not understanding that I feel slightly embarassed to ask people to do these job. I cut down on my pre-cleaning considerably but I still scan the house and fix things before she shows up. Same goes for gardening work, pedicures and, yes, shoe shines. I think I would feel better if I’d pay for a shoe shine $20. But, for that money, I do it myself.
hey ann: love the post—-and the blog, especially your ‘about’ page. you’re just so new englandy!
hey ann: love the post—-and the blog, especially your ‘about’ page. you’re just so new englandy!
I wish I could experience having my shoe shined by another guy. There aren’t any shoeshine guys in our country or any country I visited. It’s always a hassle to have to shine your shoes in the morning especially when you are in a rush and still have to wrestle with the city traffic.
I wish I could experience having my shoe shined by another guy. There aren’t any shoeshine guys in our country or any country I visited. It’s always a hassle to have to shine your shoes in the morning especially when you are in a rush and still have to wrestle with the city traffic.
I had a shoe shine guy once try to get me to have my sneakers shined. I guess he was having a slow day. I felt your horror when you described the stirrups.
I had a shoe shine guy once try to get me to have my sneakers shined. I guess he was having a slow day. I felt your horror when you described the stirrups.
Hello. Don’t know you, haven’t ever been here; got the link on twitter from a friend of yours.
But.. wow. This is very funny. You are a gifted writer.
Hello. Don’t know you, haven’t ever been here; got the link on twitter from a friend of yours.
But.. wow. This is very funny. You are a gifted writer.
I saw this was listed on your website as a “Most Popular” and I can see why. It’s hilarious and awkward enough to make anyone reading it feel some of your discomfort. Your writings deserve a “Collected Blogs” volume. Are there any collections of blogs printed? Jim
I saw this was listed on your website as a “Most Popular” and I can see why. It’s hilarious and awkward enough to make anyone reading it feel some of your discomfort. Your writings deserve a “Collected Blogs” volume. Are there any collections of blogs printed? Jim
I dunno, Jim. But maybe someday I’ll see if that’s an option!
I dunno, Jim. But maybe someday I’ll see if that’s an option!
i’ve always wanted seven league boots, too! if you find some, let me know and maybe we’ll talk them into a two-for-one deal…
beautiful writing, btw!
i’ve always wanted seven league boots, too! if you find some, let me know and maybe we’ll talk them into a two-for-one deal…
beautiful writing, btw!
Ann, this took me back to my early years @ NBC – there was a shoe shine guy, an elderly Italian gent named Sal, who went from office to office shining the wingtips & loafers of the executive suite.
He was also happy to shine the shoes of secretaries – including me.
Shoeshine stands are still being placed in new air terminals (like the spankin’ new one @ RIC, my home airport).
I’ve never experienced the gyno-moment you did, although I have never ascended the shoe-shine throne in anything but pants. A skirt or dress would be a little too Basic Instinct, n’est pas?
But this took me right back to those days long ago, as Sal-the-Shine-Man shined my shoes at my desk.
Now, go listen to Ry Cooder’s “Get Rhythm”…
Ann, this took me back to my early years @ NBC – there was a shoe shine guy, an elderly Italian gent named Sal, who went from office to office shining the wingtips & loafers of the executive suite.
He was also happy to shine the shoes of secretaries – including me.
Shoeshine stands are still being placed in new air terminals (like the spankin’ new one @ RIC, my home airport).
I’ve never experienced the gyno-moment you did, although I have never ascended the shoe-shine throne in anything but pants. A skirt or dress would be a little too Basic Instinct, n’est pas?
But this took me right back to those days long ago, as Sal-the-Shine-Man shined my shoes at my desk.
Now, go listen to Ry Cooder’s “Get Rhythm”…
Hey all I love the writing, thanks for this….
Hey all I love the writing, thanks for this….
I've had the same experiance getting my shoes shined, and I've never been to a gyno.
Next time your in the airport wear Converse, George won't even speak to you.
I am THE Shoe Shine guy at the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas.. I apprecitated the story very much! Thank You. I shine a womans boots on average twice a day. They really appreciate the love I put into fixing up there purses as well!! definantly consider wearing stockings when you plan your next shoe shine ladies!!! unless your coming too Vegas!!! Whew Hoo!!
I am THE Shoe Shine guy at the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas.. I apprecitated the story very much! Thank You. I shine a womans boots on average twice a day. They really appreciate the love I put into fixing up there purses as well!! definantly consider wearing stockings when you plan your next shoe shine ladies!!! unless your coming too Vegas!!! Whew Hoo!!
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Getting my boots shined at the airport..Damn life’s rough..Gotta put my head back for a sec…J/K
Nicole Austin (Coco, wife of Ice T) – from her cocosworld Twitter
She wears OTKs with HIGH heels!